Wedding crashers welcome here
Women at Nigerian wedding wearing tradition gele head wrap
Photo (c) 2009, Stockxpert. See also Village.AfricanPath.com
Most western brides invite more wedding guests than they expect to attend and only those who have responded to a direct invitation attend the wedding. That’s just the way it is unless Hollywood gets involved and produces a movie such as the 2005 Wedding Crashers starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. In real life, for western brides the actual guest count at the wedding is always less than the number of invited guests.
Not so for couples with strong Nigerian roots and traditions. Not only are wedding crashers expected, their presence signifies to the families of the bride and groom their love and respect. While the term has a decidedly negative western connotation, to the Nigerian couple it is a neutral term, almost like an expectation there will be cake: there will be cake and there will be wedding crashers. See the video below as a wedding couple of Nigerian ancestry explains the wedding crashers tradition to the Frungillos of New Jersey on TLC’s ‘Masters of Reception’ reality series.
The Linen House recently provided tuxedo style chair covers for a sophisticated black and white color scheme wedding reception. The photo below depicts the head table of this wedding before chair covers were applied, where the bride and groom would oversee the festivities and greet guests from the comfort of their regal elevation. While working with this bride and her wedding planner, we first learned about the Nigerian tradition of wedding crashing. 
The typical question that vendors pose to brides, “How many guests do you expect?” did not elicit the expected response. The bride’s answer normally guides suppliers in booking the appropriate quantities of guest seating, meals, favors, centerpieces, servings of cake and more. Our Nigerian couple, both born and raised in Houston, set their reception for 300 guests based on an invitation list of 260 and an expected attendance of 500 guests! Yes, they were expecting, actually hoping, for wedding crashers to almost double the number of attendees. Guests would come in from Nigeria, London, New York, Los Angeles and of course, local friends and family members would be in attendance too.
Just a few hours before the wedding, family members mingled with the venue staff making the final preparations for the reception. The wedding planner in consultation with sisters and aunts fretted and worried about the number of guests. Finally the family matriarch, dressed in a bright black and yellow gele head wrap settled the issue. “Do not worry about it, Mma,” she proclaimed, using the affectionate ‘Mma’ as her American born cousin may use the term ‘Sister’ or ‘Dear’. “We are prepared for the number of invited guests and then some. Wedding crashers who come late know they will miss out on food and cake, but they will still come. Let us go dress for the wedding. It is in God’s hands now.” With worry behind them, they left to prepare for the festivities.
Jan Cancila is the owner of The Linen House and the Houston Bridal Scene Examiner. Readers of this article may also enjoy her Weddings 101 series:
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